SONA Day 11th Feb 2022:
PrezBlunt
CameToTheHall ShowedUsHisSuitToBe
MadeHereWithGreenGasToldUsTo
Grow Dope
GrowBoom
GrowGrass
Short summary ends her… Big Story below
Warning: this entire poem is At least 1200 words long. Reading the whole thing could be injurious to your health. You’ve got the message … whatever is left may be long, boring and depressing…. Or maybe not… It could simply be satiric.
[Note: For offshore readers/listeners, a SONA is mnemonic for “State of the Nation Address” and all the Zansi’s’ important people are present there there for the address hoping…}
Why was it written?
I have no idea…
These things happen… Usually…
a case of “Who cares…” SONA is a routine chore … A ‘Much ado about No Thing’… doing little that anyone remembers next Tuesday.” ]
This time is a somewhat different year tho’…
Last year something seriously bad happened in our country… Zansi, in Southern Afrika. Well many serious things happened, and few have been explained: but this deeply bad thing stood out more:.
Some called it an “Insurrection”; and there has also, never been a coherent explanation about that either … And hundreds of citizens died during that explosion of violent looting…
And it wasn’t the only oddball thing that has happened over the Covid era…
For instance: Fires have been impacting key things, hospitals, universities and now Parliament itself. Fires break out and burn for days; and are blamed on random things like homeless persons who somehow, have cigarette butts, that defy all fire raising logic…
As the ‘House of Assembly’ did last month… when it ‘caught’ fire and burned for days.
So this SONA is happening in the old City ‘Town’ Hall…
What was it about? We hope you’ll find out.
The economy is stagnant, and simply sliding slowly, inevitably downhill… Some say “back to the more comfortable 19th century” So to use a 19th Century adjective:
“the Economy is in a Parlous Stagnant State”.
Question everyone is asking: “Will this SONA indicate a way forward…?” We will see…
Since stagnant is not the same as standstill: entropy is running wild… And parlous still means what it meant then…
As the Honourable MP General Holomisa, pointed out at least four years back, in a previous SONA …
“We are on the slippery slope…” No akshun since.
And so, we have continued downhill….
So this means expectations were up high; that a hugely compromised Prez… hemmed in on all sides by aggrieved power groups, both inside and outside his Party, will deliver some evidence that there is a positive way forward.
The Poet was sceptical and had no expectations at all… Assuming no thing….
Because, as you know, expectations are all too often a formula for disappointment… So…
Our journey starts nearby the City Hall, where occupants of a refreshment room, watch akshun on the TV….
–
————————0———————–
I’m drinking Koffee.” He said.
This is a Bar not a Koffee
Shop…
I want koffee…
I never said I didn’t
Want booze…
If I can’t get it, I’ll go some
Place where they serve
Both!
Oh. Sorry. Off course.
You can
Have Koffee
What booze would
You like?
Kane… I’ll have a bottle…
We haven’t got any Kane.
So. You make it diffikult hey…?
First no koffee, now
No Booze?
So I’ll settle for the koffee.
You have to have booze… to get koffee
You haven’t got it…
So you can’t give it to me…
I see.
Well we’ll meet with
Our
Suppliers and see what we can do
Before the winter break arrives…
Could I offer you a freshly made sandwich instead?
So we settled for the annual SONAstorm to begin…
————————–0—————————
“
What is happening?” Asks an insistent journo, outside the City hall.
Everything is sub judice [sub- joo- di-see] says a batonic waggling finger,
from an interrogated attendee: to queries from a gathered crowd of Newspersons…
You will know soon… She adds…
The curtain rises: –
——————0—————–
In The State of the Nation today: Dope rulz.
Says Prez.
Was he ‘Blunt’? Ayanda asked
The room?
Who knows?
“We want to
Harness the powa
Of
Industrial hemp
And Cannabis…”
was the Prez prediction for Mzansi
Otherwise
SONA was its usual…
‘Things we gonna do
Someday…’ affair
You know the score
We always want more….
Dreamy time again…
No real Akshun result .
Behind
The Glamour;soon overlaid with litanies
Of kollapse
And disintegration… And a wondrous sense
of happiness…
It is freedom after all
THEN: Future tense; it lies ahead: It is not
NOW
WE will do things… in
Time to come: is not Now…
Sporadic applause… rattles the emptiness of
the packed old City Hall…
One clap
Two claps
Three claps four a
Few more other claps
Add up to min Score
As we hunker down…
‘Seven hundred kilometres of rural
Roads will be
Paved’. When?
We do
Remember where
They are; and and are
Organising having meetings to
Decide on the criteria we should use to
Define the project concerned and then decide
where
We would be
Going to start: before
We lost our way…
Three people clap
Yay
We will
All do things
And then things are
Likely to be announced as
We grasp our
“Rosy nettle…” Yay… yay …yay…?
Quiet crowd… stares… waiting
Starting to notice that the seats are hard.
WE will investigate our
Current
Journey… He tells us
Over
Seventy
Five Years…
To go!
Target of course… much
Sooner, he quickly added, like
Seventy `
Three: to our breath intake
Reaction….
And then for mis-
Direction; said “we shall
Promote the possibilities of
Our
Green
Hydrogen heritage…”
Many murmurs… rise in cadence…fall…
What was this new exciting
Word
We hear?
Not nasty things we hope
Some pipelines we can
Grope about with.… for
a while
longer… forage for opportunity?
To take to the future perfect: where
We will take decisive
Steps
Again….
Some of crowd spot the gap
A small
flurry of delight…
To be blanketed with trivia
Smug smile … beams out…
Bottom line: “We will do
Wonderful things, this way:
Some day, when these
Plans will build on other
Master plans …”
Not Mistress plans? Note. Nor
Madam plans/Bossy plans Even
Person plans
That will…
Encounter; other plans, by other
Planners….
To give away the
Miracle of
Free
Money….!!!!!!
Then Quickly slide in…
From our deeply frozen
Fiscus… He, as quick as breath came ,
Sniffing a mutter about
Unfairness….
And more tax…
Added…
To be dealt with later…
In the budget speech… Hand waves it away…
Kontention klamps forth in scattered mutters
And then…
A quick return to other
Less kontentious
Plans by other
Planners… Like those bods at
business house B
Rhyming with knee… Sounding posh .
Who made a suit
That He was
Wearing…?
A suit in chains of pomp and glory… Restrikted kut model
Look at me mommy!
Yay! Yay! Yay! The Prez has arrived!
The
Murmuring crowd shuffled… Glancing
Awkwardly around; glancing
glances to see who else is
Glancing glances…
Envy control reigns…
One clap resounds…
The face filled hall where people
hover
in agonising
Incredulity…
At the SMART suit???
Where is this going…
Why is
NO THING Happening???
Where’s our Bucks???
And.
Where’s our suits???????
And hope they all arrive
In
Thirty or Forty
Minutes…
Oh
Sorry
Years
At last… Twelve people clapped
At least
It sounded like it was about twelve
Perhaps?
“We are,” Prez announced … Paused… Repeat
“We are now making… Suits…”
Again… quickly… at a gasp WHAT!!!
“Like we once did…”
Quick shift….
“One hundred days!
We call for
You to for
Get to re
Member just how we
Thought about how
To Get Things
Done
Before we need another
hundred Days…”
Bright cheery smile to…
Silence…
To… of course…
To work out a….? Casts about…
“National Social Dialogue!…” He rattled off…
As though we all knew
It was something
known
by
More than few… That has
In the past been for
Gotten….
—————0—————–
News reports:
“President ‘mulls’
Ending things like “Disaster State”
And
The need to Finalise
our thinking about
What we
should be doing about
Extending
Free Money up to the next
General
Consensus survey
In Twenty
Four…
Catch them hungry
Catch them
Falling….
Mercury reports: Plans Must bring
Akshun…
“Surely” … They add. “A plan
with
Out
Akshun is only
Wishful Thinking…
Isn’t it?”
AGAIN!!!
No, No, No:
They cry.
Give
Us
Another moment
Konsequences must be konsidered to
Apply
Again
To the things we for
Got to remember….
So Prez Vows: they say, to
Akt on things
He previously Vowed to be
Akted upon in the
Last many
SONA’s
Klap Clap Krap
Bonus:
RedTapeIsBad
WillAppointGroupAddMore CutSomeBackABitAsWellThen
We Win
And these warriors of the Kuttings
Will assiduously
Eliminate a few
Things [AGAIN] that do not get the
Point…
And add, naturally, new rules of procedure:…
When you say? How much?
Estimated cost… [of what] will, due to
Fiskal Pressure [a dread disease no doubt]
Add ghastliness: So to do
it [eliminate red tape ?] then
We shall strive…
And our goal
Will be to finance things…
[more things/same things?]
Through the ……
[pauses… for fx] Imagine drum roll echoing with joyous favour
Sale of Tea and Sandwiches!!!
Which will be
Announced.
Just as soon as they are sufficiently
Stale….
Sowetan news avers:
“The High Road for Zansi”
More Kannabis to be grown
Check your Krop
And then, in case they knew not how to do this strange thing: a
Previously also
Unmentioned
“Afrikan Advisory Group”
Will help our people
Who were never allowed to grow it: since
Forever…
About … [Drum roll]
How to prepare this… [more drum
roll]
This new found wonder drug
For the
Usual: mere few Billions more…?
From our formerly frozen fiscus… And
We will sell more sandwiches!!!
And they shall give the project… Our famous
Momentum….
Yes, the Presidential SONA was
More than usually blunt at times: and said
Finally
That :…
“We are looking into the possibility
of evaluating ways
of improving
Schools … Sometime soon…
And…
Supplying Lavatories…”
Because” [enigmatic pause]
“Good choices always provide comfort….”
———————————0————————
Meanwhile
Offshore we live in
Orwell’s ‘War of Worlds’ on Morphed out
Television screens
Again
As the gift wrap of Eternity Envelopes us in good
Intentions… And the awful Koloniste
Klass back in Groland
Face off with
Bears…
And Firmia spells out a strategy
that once brought… Pearl Harbour
While back here, the Prez.
Does the finger’s touch thing for left
and right
fervently wishes for
Some Antediluvian dinobaby era:
Harry whatsis…An AI Groda[sic]
Wizard entity; to whisk their
Wands:
And make it all go away….
The crowd disperses
clutters the foyers
mutter expletives
like virgins despoiled,
once again
rush to cluster…
What the
F*%#!!???!!
—
——————-0—————–
Until a moment of routine glazed
Konfektion reminds us….
We are here…
—————————–0————————–
I’m drinking Koffee.” He said.
This is a Bar not a Koffee
Shop…
I want koffee…
I never said I didn’t
Want booze…
If I can’t get it, I’ll go
some
Place where they serve both!
Oh.
Sorry.
Off course. You can
Have Koffee
What booze would
You like?
Kane… I’ll have a bottle…
We haven’t got any Kane.
So. You make it diffikult hey…?
First no koffee: now
No Booze?
So I’ll settle for the koffee.
You have to have booze…
You haven’t got it…
So you can’t give it to me…
I see.
Well we’ll meet with Our
Suppliers and… And…
And have discussions to
Think about what we can do…
Before the winter break arrives…
Would you like a sandwich though?
It is almost stale…They said…
Twelve people clapped.
At least
They think it was twelve?
Perhaps?
We thought the Prez was blunt again: when
He said more thought
was needed on most things…
Yes. Ok. A sandwich will do… for now. And
A well decorated; curling beautifully
at the edges, like a
Good, fine bread saamie:,
Is passed over by
The relieved guardians
At the barely used City Hall: who
Felt well used again… hardly energised
As yet another annual SONA
Sandstorm Passed
By….
Jakari ‘22